Me: "... and do you know where Jesus is now?"
Boy: "Zimbabwe!"

My favorite colors are pink and purple and sparkles and rainbow and blue.
5 year old girl in South Africa

My Daddy’s body makes funny sounds.
4 year old randomly to me then she runs away

Boy: What's that?
Me: A present.
Boy: Is it a toy?
Me: Nope.
Boy: So it's just a bag with paper in it?
Me: No, it has a present in it.
Boy: So there IS a toy in there?
Me: No, I have a present in there.
Boy: Is it just paper in a bag?

Girl 1: I'm independent!
Girl 2: What does that mean?
Girl 1: It means I'm not going to play with you.

I hate Christmas trees! I just like presents!
5 year old

Girl: Why do you have eyeballs?
Me: Why do you think I have eyeballs?
Girl: Because you're a woman!

Boy: I wish it was morning all day long.
Girl: Yeah. Then we wouldn't ever have to go to bed.

Boy: do you know what Ms. Kjaere? I have a girlfriend at my house.
Me: You do? What's her name?
Boy: Christina Aguilera.

Me: I'm so glad you're not grumpy anymore!
Boy: Yeah. I decided to change my face.

Me: What do you think the word "thankful" means?
Girl 1: Thankful means being respectful.
Girl 2: I'm thankful for my friends!
Girl 3: Thankful is being an apple.

Girl: Look! I have a 'merica flag!
Me: I see that. Where is America?
Girl: I think it's across the street.

Girl: Look teacher! I made a building!
Me: That's great! What building did you make?
Girl: A San Francisco building.
Boy 1: Hey! I live in San Francisco!
Girl: So do I!
Boy 2: Oh yeah? Well, I'm the King of San Francisco so I win!

Me: That looks like a flower petal to me. What does it look like to you?
Boy: It looks like a pillow for my buttocks.

Boy: Ms. Kjaere! I made a triangle barricade!
Me: Yeah? What does a barricade do?
Boy: It keeps bears out!